By Dani Maldonado
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas… unless you’re me, then it becomes a story too wild not to tell. My recent week-long escapade to Sin City was less of a vacation and more of an all-out assault on my senses—a glorious blur of lights, sounds, and moments that redefined “insane.” From the moment I stepped off the plane, I knew this wasn’t going to be the typical trip.
The purpose of this trip? Uhh… I wasn’t really sure going into it. I knew we planned on going to RollerCon but that didn’t seem to be a high priority and oddly enough neither was skating/filming. Ultimately, the trip was
a huge team bonding experience.
Prior to my arrival, I was well aware of the status of accommodations we were about to experience. We were staying at the Cesars fucking palace! I don’t know shit about Vegas but I knew Lazo was about to SNAP.
Just my fucking luck, I was the first one to land and I say that with pure sarcasm. The Long Beach crew was still about an hour out; Jam, Barbie, and our baby boo Ava. After a bumpy check in, I got to the room and holy fucking shit. This suite was fully revovated, sexy black marble floors, high cielings, and super fucking moody. A literal movie set. I connected to the surround sound, danced in every mirror I could find, called my momma and my sister just so they could see this insanity. Eventually the girls made it and I got to relive the excitement of the room all over again. DEAD ASS THIS ROOM WAS INSANE. It turned out to be the real focal point of our trip.
Within minutes we were popping bottles and making the craziest mess. We’re all fucking smiles. Nothing in the moment mattered, not even the fact that we probably already lost the deposit from the champagne dripping off the 11-foot ceilings, the chandelier, and all over the decor. We later found out by housekeeping that we would indeed be charged for this.
THE RUN AROUND
Running off Florida time I was up and ready the next morning. I went to the gym and back and no one was up yet. Which is always annoying. Like damn I’m trying to make moves. I found Darian (Lazo’s latest camera man) in the cut, so we ordered breakfast which was a shit show all on its own. Long story short we ended up with enough food to feed a family of 10 from all the errors and errors that came from trying to fix the original errors.
By 2 p.m. Barbie, Ava and I were pool side playing mermaid, making TikToks, and people watching all while admiring this elaborate roman coliseum-themed pool. Which was still highly impressive even for being off scale. The lack of urgency was so bizarre to me, because normally we’re go go go. Eventually, the girls ran off to Rollercon while Jam and I ran to the airport to pick up Desi who was flying in from Puerto Rico.
We reunited for dinner, landing on Nobu. Bitch, Nobu!! It was the most non-chalant flex I think I’ve ever witnessed. Like “Welp, I guess our only option is Nobu guys, sorry.” On top of the fact I already knew we had reservations for Friday, we were going to double down. Plates just started flowing, full rotation. I’m eating this shit up. Completely disregarding my extreme fear of eating seafood when there’s no sea in sight. I’m just running off vibes, completely hyped on the experience but I later paid the craziest price for ignoring my intuition. We headed straight back to the room for more drinks, music, and head banging. But for me, the night ended with me hugging the toilet for dear life.
After another slow morning, we started working our way to RollerCon. Lazo brought a van full of merch with hopes of having a cocktail hour for each of the remaining nights. Our mission was to seek out anyone who would be down for free shoes, shirts, socks—we damn near had everything. The plan was to break the ice by offering a mag with a friendly invitation.
We enter RollerCon and we’re instantly slapped in the face with the most disrespectful smell. The air hung heavy with the distinct odor of sweat, stale beer, and the metallic tang of exertion—a pungent cocktail that clung to everything. It was truly disgusting. The conviction was a cacophony of sound. The roar of the crowd, the thud of bodies hitting the track, and the piercing shrill of whistles creating an overwhelming symphony of chaos. We quickly realized how out of place we felt as a team of street roller skaters walking around in a world dominated by derby.
The task of inviting people back to the suit turned into mission fucking impossible. No one was really walking around with the friendliest face. Resting bitch face seems to be a part of the derby uniform and once I was denied by two groups of girls, I was like, “Fuuuuck this.” We paced back and forth with nothing else to do but look at each other’s faces with confusion. No one said it but we all wanted to get the fuck out of there. Our mission failed for night one, so back to the room we went!
Things turned into this impromptu bachelorette flash mob, all of us in matching robes, just cracking up and dancing through Caesars Palace. We must’ve looked wild, a whole squad of white terrycloths, super hyped for a late-afternoon dip. And then… BAM. Pool closed. We got a pretty funny TikTok out of it but that’s about it. The day ended with picking up Asia and hitting a local park so the girls could excerpt their energy and topped it off with a late-night pizza.
DAY 3 WASTHE DAY
We started the day with the world’s most famous buffet. It was hands down the most overwhelming sight. We were greeted at the counter with a gigantic fish head on display: just a small sneak peak to this massive selection of food, an entire room dedicated to every type of sweet treat and dessert. The sheer scale of the place was mind-boggling. It felt like walking into a culinary wonderland, with every cuisine imaginable laid out before us. From carving stations to seafood spreads, international dishes to endless dessert options. It was almost too much to take in at once. My eyes darted from one station to another, trying to process the immense variety and decide where to even begin. It was beautiful.
So after stuffing our faces at the buffet, we hit up RollerCon again, feeling super recharged and stoked. We were just chilling, embracing our “Lazo family” vibe. Apparently, Jam and Barbie had better luck with inviting people back to the hotel and they mentioned it right at the end of the demo, so we basically had to haul ass to the airport to pick up Moco then back to the room (the neverending pattern). I couldn’t even finish doing my fucking hair by the time Swampy came into my room mortified.
What started as a trickle quickly became a flood, and we found ourselves completelyunprepared for the sudden rush of people. Having faced a near-empty suite the night before, we had severely underestimated the allure of “free everything” and the general desire for a good time. People started arriving, and almost immediately, I was fielding requests for even the most basic necessities. Water, beers, bottles of champagne, fruit platters. My phone became an extension of my ear, constantly dialing room service, each call more frantic than the last as I tried to keep up with the escalating demands. It was pure MAYHEM, but joyous nonetheless.
In all the fun and craziness of everyone drinking and literally skating around the pool table (Oh yeah, theres a fucking pool table in the middle of our living room), I took charge and helped our new friends find their shoe sizes and feel comfy to grab anything and everything. In my element, making sure everyone had a great time and watching our party really pop off. There came a moment where I was able to relax and get some overdue drinks in.
The room was alive, buzzing with laughter, music, and the clatter of skates on marble. But the magic had to end. When the whisper of “dinner in 15 minutes” cut through the revelry, I knew it was time to shut down the party. Nobu part two was non-negotiable. A huge thanks to everyone who swung by! We had to whisk everyone out pretty quick, with Nobu part two looming.
After a speedy Vegas-ready outfit swap (priorities, right?), we found ourselves at the dinner table, just waiting for Jam to ditch the bikini top for something a bit more, well, Nobu-appropriate. We were completely stunned, scratching our heads, amazed that so many showed up and that it all actually happened all while ordering what felt like two of everything. This time we seriously went for it. Dessert was no exception—we literally got one of each. As all the food started rolling out, I couldn’t help but think, I’M FUCKED.
I needed photos in this new dress, so right after dinner everyone headed up and Desi and I went walking around looking for photo op spots around this fucking literal palace, and by the time we’re done, the raw fish was already doing its damage. I didn’t have time to mingle any longer with everyone up stairs. The way I was feeling, the only thing that could help me was God himself and the toilet. I don’t think I need to add further details but I will say I made the enormous mistake of thinking I was done throwing up and went to sit on the toilet toreally finish the job and just my fucking luck, there I was face to face with my own shit...
POOL PARTIES AND ROLLER COASTERS
Day 4 started with a rude awakening. The suite was a mess, smelling like a mix of weed, stale smoke, and booze. It was another slow morning, especially after last night’s craziness, but we eventually got ourselves together. It was time to head to RollerCon for the last time, just to catch some demos the girls were doing. We weren’t just trying to round up folks for a party anymore. We watched Barbie, Jam, Asia and Pushy dominate the mini-ramp and it was essentially, unintentionally, a Lazo take over. Seriously, they were amazing to watch. It wasn’t some super-polished performance, just a total burst of raw talent.
Totally wiped we all agreed to ditch the sweaty scene. We needed a change of pace, something fast and fun. So, off to the Big Apple Roller Coaster at the New York-New York Hotel! Barbie and Desi, bless their little hearts, weren’t feeling it and decided to stay back at the arcade. Because the ride was a whopping 40 seconds long we made it back just in time to catch Barbie winning a toy! We jokingly overreacted to the win to be funny and silly but Barbie actually busted into tears that left us and the surrounding parents highly fucking confused as to why this grown women is crying over a baby Yoda. Come to find out it was her first win ever. She shared that it was a childhood dream that never came true because her parents simply couldn’t afford such a luxury.
After that emotional rollercoaster, the trip was winding down with just one major event left on the agenda: this pool party that Barbie got an invite from Triple 8 and managed to extend it to the whole crew, including our baby boo Ava. It was just a pool party, nothing too wild, but it felt like the perfect way to cap off our chaotic week in Vegas. The party was massive. A whole roof top floor bumping, ass cheeks everywhere. We had the best time hubbled up as a team. As the night wound down, it was awesome to see how much closer we’d got.. We really soaked up those last few laughs and good times together before we had to head out in the morning.
Leaving Vegas felt bittersweet. My body was screaming for a detox, Lazo’s wallet was weeping, but my heart was full from all the ridiculous memories and the unshakable bond we have at Lazo. I somehow convinced my boss to let me ride back to Long Beach with the crew, probably using a combination of puppy-dog eyes and promises of endless office hours. One minute we were packing up the remnants of our Caesar’s Palace takeover, and the next, driving through the empty desert back home to the West Coast.
